I Have Been Crucified With Christ

I was humbled and honored to play the lead role in our church's annual Easter drama/musical, "This Day of Resurrection". The hour-long production has me portraying various episodes from the Gospels, depicting the final week of Jesus' earthly life: excerpts from the Sermon on the Mount, being confronted by Pharisees, showing love and compassion to a blind man, forgiving the sins of an adulterous woman, washing the feet of my disciples, sharing final thoughts with those same men at a final meal, praying fervently in the Garden of Gethsemane (and singing a heart-felt plea/solo "Not my will, but thine be done"), and then I was placed on a wooden cross while bloody and humiliated. Of course, it's no spoiler to tell you that we reenacted the resurrection and ascension, after my disciples gently laid me in the tomb. "He is Risen!" Good news, indeed!

This experience has definitely given me a new appreciation and understanding of Jesus' absolute focus and intention, as he willingly gave himself for his people. I will cherish this renewed sense of identification with the Lord Jesus Christ in the coming year, and nurture the love and compassion pouring out from my own life- as I attempted to faithfully represent these same characteristics for the drama.

"I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I now live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me." --Galatians 2:20

Jogger vs. Runner

This week I learned the difference between a jogger and a runner... a race entry form. I am now officially registered for the Lincoln Half Marathon on May 2nd. Today is day 1 of my 13 week training schedule. Let the FUN begin!

Cardinal Don Quixote

We recently had a rather curious visitor at our house. A male cardinal decided that our back porch door was enemy number one. For several days on end, from dawn to dusk, this bird persistently postured, threatened, tormented, assaulted and attacked our sliding glass door.

I sat eating my breakfast on successive days, pondering what had gotten into the little creatures head. The cardinal was our evening entertainment at the dinner table that week, as the kids and adults discussed ways to discourage him from his futile endeavors. We, of course, dubbed him ‘Don Quixote’. We told our children what we could remember of Cervantes’ epic tale, “The Man from La Mancha”. My daughter was particularly keen to understand why the old man went tilting, or jousting, at windmills. Why didn't he have anything better to do? My son was simply impressed by the concept of electing to become a knight, and finding gallant and noble acts to perform.

So, we attempted to scare D.Q. away, mostly out of fear that he would exhaust himself, or knock himself out flying into the glass repeatedly - and then be gobbled up by a greedy cat. We flapped and waved our hands in his direction, but these actions seemed only to strengthen his resolve. We taped tin-foil strips to the outside, hoping that would cause him to reconsider his pursuit. However, this might have been viewed as an escalation in the conflict, further justifying the bird’s righteous anger. I envied Don’s fortitude, but wished I comprehended what he was fighting for.

No one was around when Don Quixote finally ended his week-long campaign. There were no ruby-colored feathers to be found, so we all hoped for the best, in terms of his health and well-being. Cardinal Don’s peace treaty with the glass door was as unilateral as his declaration of war. I cannot help but feel that this bird’s "6 Day War" mirrored much of our own daily experience. What are we fighting for? How can we end the insanity of striving towards goals that are nonsensical and without purpose? How may we find peace and comfort in a hostile world that stands as stolid and incomprehensible as a sliding glass door?

A voice is heard in Ramah

Every once-in-awhile, there are days that I wish I could just fast-forward through. Today was one of those days. My company was sold recently, and today was the day of the first round of layoffs. Thankfully, I already knew, with reasonable certainty, that I'd be spared this time. I also had a general idea of who would be let go. Let me tell you, I'm glad that I haven't had to look those people in the eye this past week. My boss wasn't so fortunate, and I know it was gut-wrenching for him to let those folks know that their services would no longer be required.

I am blessed to have a wife with a fantastic career, so I really wasn't fretting too much that we wouldn't be able to survive, if I did lose my job. I also have an optimistic streak, and faith in Jehovah Jireh, that wouldn't allow me to be crushed by a career set-back. Unfortunately, that isn't the case for several of my associates. I am praying about how I might be a blessing to one or more of those who have been let go.

We have worked with some of these people for many, many years- no matter which way I look at it, this just sucks. The company I work for used to be like a family. That has gradually been eroding for several years. We closed an office in Irvine awhile ago, followed by an office in Philly, and now our parent company has sold us to a competitor. I have no idea how I will fit in with the new organization. They seem ok with having me work remotely from my bunker in Nebraska. I just don't know if I want to be down here anymore...

Is this another nudge from God to hear a calling to something else? I wish I knew where this was heading.

A voice is heard in Ramah, weeping and great mourning, Rachel weeping for her children and refusing to be comforted, because they are no more. --Jeremiah 31:15

To Deke, or not to Deke...

A wise man once told me, "Preachers gotta preach, and Deacons gotta deke." Of course this man was a godly deacon in my church, and he had a profound love for humbly serving. While he found it humorous to use the word 'Deacon' as a verb during conversation, his absolute passion was to fulfill his calling as a Deacon.

I have been asked by the nominating committee at our church to consider becoming a deacon. I have been praying diligently about this decision, but I still have some reservations. For one, this seems like a huge commitment- a 3 year term in a serious leadership capacity. I believe it would require extraordinary amounts of maturity, time, energy, compassion and love. Do I possess enough of these elements to be successful? Quite simply, no. Can God endow me with these gifts to be used for His purposes? Yes, I firmly believe that I can do all things through Christ, who gives me strength. So, it all boils down to whether God is calling me to this ministry.


I've gone over the Biblical requirements for becoming a deacon, and it's a pretty daunting list. I'm humbled that my church leaders believe I meet the minimum criteria:

Deacons, likewise, are to be men worthy of respect, sincere, not indulging in much wine, and not pursuing dishonest gain.

It is hard to evaluate oneself as to being worthy of respect. I believe I am sincere. I do enjoy wine and other adult beverages from time-to-time. It is easy for me to rationalize whether I indulge "in much wine", although I'm sure that I have had too much on more than a few occasions. I believe that the principle behind this statement is in maintaining a Christian witness, and being controlled by the Holy Spirit, rather than alcohol. This is something that I need to carefully consider as I weigh this decision, whether I am willing to be an example of these high expectations in terms of 'godliness', all without being fake and insincere.

They must keep hold of the deep truths of the faith with a clear conscience. They must first be tested; and then if there is nothing against them, let them serve as deacons.

I have no conflict with the deep truths of the faith. I occasionally have doubts concerning my faith, but it always stems from my human frailty, not doubts about who God is, or what He has done in my life. Our church puts deacon candidates through a rigorous set of questions, and I have no reason to believe they will find my doctrinal qualifications lacking.

Knowing the truth, and living the truth are two different matters though. I don't like to admit my short-comings, but it is safe to say that my conscience has not always been clear. The fact that I care about my ongoing fellowship with God, and ask Him for forgiveness when I sin, allows me to boldly proclaim His truth. That's probably the best that I can offer on this point.

In the same way, their wives are to be women worthy of respect, not malicious talkers, but temperate and trustworthy in everything.

I suppose this is one of the things that I really have going for me, a beautiful Christian wife who is worthy of great respect. My wife wants me to make sure that if I do this, I do it for the right reasons. I am sometimes idealistic in terms of what I think I can accomplish in these situations. My wife would do an excellent job of giving me support and counsel to fulfill the ministry of Deacon- if I am truly called to the job.

A deacon must be the husband of but one wife and must manage his children and his household well. Those who have served well gain an excellent standing and great assurance in their faith in Christ Jesus.

I have but one wife. I've also never been divorced, which seems to be the controversial issue in Evangelical churches in our culture. I believe that the marriage relationship is one of the best portraits of Christ's love for the church. In that context, I can better comprehend why God has placed this criteria in the job description for service. Another great testimony of the gospel message is God our heavenly Father's love for His children. Being a good family man would, therefore, also be a tremendous witness to the awesome power of Christ's redemption.

Deacon literally means "servant". As a Christian, we are each called to serve God. However, the original Deacons were set apart for a particular set of tasks in service to their congregation. In my church, these tasks are to serve as leadership body in support of the Pastoral staff. The Deacons are each assigned a care-group to shepherd, making sure that their families and individuals are plugged into our body, and have their physical and spiritual needs met. The Deacons also deliver the Lord's Supper to the congregation. Viewed from this perspective, these are tasks that I can perform.

The most noteworthy deacon that comes to mind is Stephen, said to be "a man full of of faith and of the Holy Spirit". After he was appointed to the deacon ministry, he was seized by opponents of his miraculous signs and bold proclamations of the Gospel. He preached a Spirit inspired message to the men of the Sanhedrin, the Jewish ruling body, and was then stoned to death- 'And Saul was there, giving approval to his death.'

This is the high calling that I am hesitant to pursue. Lord, please give me clear direction as to whether you desire me to follow this path.

The Year of Living Biblically

I've picked up an interesting book recently, The Year of Living Biblically: One Man's Humble Quest to Follow the Bible as Literally as Possible, by A.J. Jacobs. As a Bible student and teacher, I was curious to read of Mr. Jacobs attempts to catalog, interpret and apply the myriad of laws and rules of the Bible.

So far, I'm finding that he uses engaging humor to describe his journey through the Testaments. During his "year" he takes the opportunity to visit various people and groups who are well-known for their adherence to the Bible (e.g. Amish, Hasidic Jews, Jehovah's Witnesses), which further adds depth/perspective on the challenges of applying God's Word in our modern context.

At this point, I don't expect that Mr. Jacobs will answer many of the obscure "Why?" questions of the Bible (e.g. Why were the Israelites told to abstain from boiling a goat kid in it's mother's milk). Perhaps we cannot fully fathom the implications of all these rules based upon the culture and environment of the Patriarchical Period? God told His people that they were not to be like the other Nations. Somehow, all these stipulations would create a vastly unique people who were to devote themselves to the One True GOD. Mr. Jacobs descriptions of his Biblical explorations have most certainly renewed in myself a sense of wonder, and triggered me to ponder many of these morsels again on my own.

An interesting facet for me is Mr. Jacobs' proclamation at the beginning of his narrative that he is basically a secularist/materialist/atheist, from a Jewish family; and his subsequent self-inquiry as to whether he wants to believe in the God of the Bible. I've prayed many times, "Lord, I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief.", so I find myself wondering how this endeavor will ultimately impact Mr. Jacobs' worldview at the end of the year. To me, this is the point of intersection into everyday reality; is this God, the creator of the universe, speaking to mankind at different points throughout human history - If so, then He must have had a reason and a point for all those esoteric laws and commands. Even more importantly though, what does He have to say to us today?

How Sweet It Is (to be loved by you)

I close my eyes at night

Wondering where would I be without you in my life

Everything I did was just a bore

Everywhere I went it seems I'd been there before

But you brighten up for me all of my days

With a love so sweet in so many ways

I want to stop and thank you baby

I want to stop and thank you baby

On a Sunday morning in early November, I got off work from the night-shift at Super Saver; I went home, showered and dressed, had a quick bite to eat, then proceeded to drive across town to meet Nichole at her church. I'd been to her church one previous occasion, and the memory of that visit made me chuckle as I drove down our empty city streets. It turned out that Nichole and I had another mutual friend, in addition to the one who introduced us in High School. Patrick Wayne McChesney was the son of a deacon at Nichole's church, and he was also a member of my 'brat pack', sharing in all our Saturday night revelry. Of course, he received much teasing from us for always struggling to make it to Sunday morning services after partying all night with us. Ironically, it was with Pat that I had first entered Southview Baptist Church.

Pat and I had been at my house some afternoon the year before, smoking weed in my step-sister's den in the basement. Hungry, but short of cash, Pat suggested that his mom would serve us dinner that evening, but not at his house. He laughed mischievously as he explained to me that his church provided supper on Wednesday evenings for those attending the mid-week Bible study. We showed up at the church reeking of stale pot smoke and Polo cologne (a Pat McChesney trademark scent!). As promised, Pat's mom sent us through the supper line with an exasperated look on her face. We quickly ate her money's worth, and hurried out the door before getting wrangled into the evening's Bible study.

My experience visiting Southview with Pat, and my relationship with him in general, seemed to highlight my attitude about the Church to this point. I felt that the church was not to be taken seriously, and lacked any real substance. It was easy to use Patrick as my poster-child for hypocrisy, and I didn't even have to work very hard to maintain that opinion - with all the tabloid fodder of the late 1980's, tele-evangelists and their secretaries misbehaving every time one turned around. Any attempts Pat made to defend his affiliation with the church were easily written off. He clearly went because his parents expected it. I envied the female interactions it provided him, and they got to go on cool trips when he was in the high school youth group, but I don't believe he had much spiritual connection to the experience. Pat got everything he wanted out of his membership at Southview Baptist Church, while still enjoying dual citizenship with the world.

My second visit to Southview was a contrast with the previous one. The first time I was looking for physical food, the second time I was looking for spiritual nourishment. I was compelled to go because I respected the character of my host, I wanted what she had in her life. I was trying to understand the impact of Jesus' life here on earth as explained by the Bible- and I wanted to find out if it still pertained to people's lives today. I longed to meet sincere Christians who truly lived their lives by faith in the God of the Bible.

Sunday School started at 9:30 AM, and I arrived approximately 5 minutes late that morning. You need to understand that I absolutely loath being late. I would prefer to be an hour early and sit around with nothing to do, rather than be late. I'm not sure if it's the fear of walking into a full room with everyone looking up at me, or some other phobia that makes me cringe from head-to-toe... but the fact of the matter was, I seriously considered turning right around and going home that morning. Thankfully, I made a firm promise to Nichole which overrode my strong natural compulsion to bolt. I walked in the door, and a man named Jim greeted me extremely cheerfully and asked me if he could help me find my class. In retrospect, I wonder if he was expecting me, because it seemed as if he plugged me into the "Young Adult- College Age" Sunday School Class with the greatest of ease.

I walked into the room, and sat down in one of the chairs arranged in a circle. They hadn't gotten started yet, everyone was still chatting amiably about their Saturday evening activities. A man named Barry got the class rolling soon after, introducing himself to me and thanking me for visiting. He then asked everyone in the room to introduce themselves as well. There were about a dozen other students in the class. I told them that I was a friend of Nichole's, who was a senior in the High School youth group. My recollection of the discussion topic is pretty vague, but I remember one of the girls sitting next to me helped me find the various passages in my Bible. (I also remember that I was the only one in the room taking notes! Nobody teased me at the time, waiting until after they got to know me better...)

The rest of the morning flew by. I was introduced to several people, then Nichole and I sat down in the auditorium together. Has anybody else ever felt like the pastor was preaching a message aimed directly at them? This was the case for me that morning, and it caught me off guard. The sermon passage was from the letter written by the Apostle Paul to the Romans, and I later understood that Dr. Bob Grayson was nearing the end of a lengthy series on that book of the Bible. I remember thinking that the language and style of the writing were impressive, and the pastor did a great job of explaining the meaning and application of the text to me. The topic of the sermon was, most undoubtedly, on sacrifice and humility. I say this, not out of complete recollection of the sermon itself, but out of a remembrance of the verse that has embedded itself in me ever since.

"Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment, in accordance with the faith God has distributed to each of you." Romans 12:3 (TNIV)

The passage of scripture from Romans 12, along with the clear teaching style of Pastor Grayson, somehow eroded the barrier within me relating to my negative perception towards 'self-righteous' Christians. I was able to comprehend and accept that morning that each one of us in the building was in the same boat when it came to our need for God. You come to God with nothing but the value that He places upon you. There's no cause to boast or justification for self-pride, it's all about Him. I began to see that other Christians were no better (or worse) than me in this regard- we all required Jesus' salvation, we all needed his grace.

After the service, Nichole introduced me to the Dr. Bob Grayson, and I thanked him for teaching me. Everyone I had met that morning was super-nice to me, and I felt very welcome in that place. Both Barry and Bob let me know that if I ever wanted to discuss anything about the Church or the Bible, they were willing to do so. I was so happy to discover that I had found a group of men and women who, while not perfect, were genuinely caring and loving towards others- even towards a strung out 18 year-old with more life problems than solutions.

The following evening is one that I will never forget, Monday November 6, 1989. Because I worked nights at the Super Saver, I typically went to sleep when I got home from work so that I could be awake in the evenings when 'normal' people were free to interact. However, because I had adjusted my schedule the day before to attend church with Nichole, I was likely pretty tired on Monday after working the previous night. So, I was surprised to be awakened by the doorbell at 7pm that evening.

At my door were 2 men whom I had met briefly the day before at Southview Baptist Church- John and Dave. When they realized they had woke me up, they apologized and said they came by to thank me for visiting yesterday. I invited them into my apartment, and we began discussing how they ended up attending Southview. I told them a bit about my life to that point, how I was searching for purpose and direction in my life. Dave then posed a question that I had considered before, but not quite in such a direct manner- "If you were to die tonight (heaven forbid), and God asked you, 'Why should I let you into Heaven', what would you say?" I admitted that this was the cause of my frustration, "Why would God want anything to do with me?".

John and Dave then offered to tell me how they had wrestled with that same question in their lives, and I definitely was interested to hear their experience. They had a little pamphlet with "The Roman Road to Salvation" printed on the front. Inside were a few verses from that same letter to the Romans which Dr. Grayson had preached from the day prior. We read the scripture together and they explained how these verses had helped them understand the human condition in relationship from the perspective of a holy and just God.

"For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God." Romans 3:23

'Falling short' means missing the target, not living up to the standard of perfection required by a Holy God.

"the wages of sin is death..." Romans 6:23a

Wages are what we earn. We deserve punishment- which is total separation from God.

"...but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord." Romans 6:23b

Eternal life is a free gift, not earned, nor deserved.

"But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us." Romans 5:8

God loves us so much that he offered his son's life as the payment for our sins.

"If you declare with your mouth, 'Jesus is Lord,' and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved... for, 'Everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved.'" Romans 10:9,13

Acknowledging our sinful condition, accepting the free gift of God, and truly putting our trust in Jesus are required for being spared from the eternal condemnation we deserve.

These verses along with the sincere, loving concern of the Christians from Southview Baptist Church touched my heart that evening. I recognized that I was separated from God because of my own willful rebellion. I understood that God wanted to have a relationship with me- that Jesus died to pay the penalty that I deserved so that he could restore our broken relationship. I accepted that free gift joyfully, understanding that I could not earn it and didn't deserve on my own merit. I could now answer Dave's question, "Why should God let me into Heaven?", because I accepted Jesus' payment for my debt gratefully. I was now "Justified by Faith".

I made a commitment to build a lifelong relationship with God, not just a one-time plea to be spared from judgment. I prayed that night with John and Dave, declaring with my mouth that Jesus is Lord, fully believing in my heart that Jesus was alive and well. That evening, for me, was very much like being reborn into the world. I felt completely new and whole. John and Dave shared with me some other verses in the Bible at that time to confirm these very concepts, and to assure me that I never had to doubt whether I was free from the penalty of sin. They also did a very good job of letting me know that this was just the beginning of my relationship with God, that He wanted to spend a lifetime teaching me and helping me to grow in my faith with the assistance of the Holy Spirit.

I spent the next year joining John, Dave and a few other men in a weekly Bible study. These men became my brothers, taking me under their wing to guide me in my new faith. Of course, I also grew closer to Nichole, the cute red-headed girl that I had intellectually sparred with in High School. She was finishing up her senior year at Lincoln High, and had many opportunities for her future. The story of how she eventually agreed to spend her life with me will have to be undertaken at another time. For now, suffice it to say that my decision to follow Jesus hasn't ended. It is an ongoing process; a daily commitment to choose him, seek his guidance, spend time with him, and enjoy his company and the fellowship of other believers. Jesus promised that he will never leave me nor forsake me. He makes the same promise to you!