On a Sunday morning in early November, I got off work from the night-shift at Super Saver; I went home, showered and dressed, had a quick bite to eat, then proceeded to drive across town to meet Nichole at her church. I'd been to her church one previous occasion, and the memory of that visit made me chuckle as I drove down our empty city streets. It turned out that Nichole and I had another mutual friend, in addition to the one who introduced us in High School. Patrick Wayne McChesney was the son of a deacon at Nichole's church, and he was also a member of my 'brat pack', sharing in all our Saturday night revelry. Of course, he received much teasing from us for always struggling to make it to Sunday morning services after partying all night with us. Ironically, it was with Pat that I had first entered Southview Baptist Church.
Pat and I had been at my house some afternoon the year before, smoking weed in my step-sister's den in the basement. Hungry, but short of cash, Pat suggested that his mom would serve us dinner that evening, but not at his house. He laughed mischievously as he explained to me that his church provided supper on Wednesday evenings for those attending the mid-week Bible study. We showed up at the church reeking of stale pot smoke and Polo cologne (a Pat McChesney trademark scent!). As promised, Pat's mom sent us through the supper line with an exasperated look on her face. We quickly ate her money's worth, and hurried out the door before getting wrangled into the evening's Bible study.
My experience visiting Southview with Pat, and my relationship with him in general, seemed to highlight my attitude about the Church to this point. I felt that the church was not to be taken seriously, and lacked any real substance. It was easy to use Patrick as my poster-child for hypocrisy, and I didn't even have to work very hard to maintain that opinion - with all the tabloid fodder of the late 1980's, tele-evangelists and their secretaries misbehaving every time one turned around. Any attempts Pat made to defend his affiliation with the church were easily written off. He clearly went because his parents expected it. I envied the female interactions it provided him, and they got to go on cool trips when he was in the high school youth group, but I don't believe he had much spiritual connection to the experience. Pat got everything he wanted out of his membership at Southview Baptist Church, while still enjoying dual citizenship with the world.
My second visit to Southview was a contrast with the previous one. The first time I was looking for physical food, the second time I was looking for spiritual nourishment. I was compelled to go because I respected the character of my host, I wanted what she had in her life. I was trying to understand the impact of Jesus' life here on earth as explained by the Bible- and I wanted to find out if it still pertained to people's lives today. I longed to meet sincere Christians who truly lived their lives by faith in the God of the Bible.
Sunday School started at 9:30 AM, and I arrived approximately 5 minutes late that morning. You need to understand that I absolutely loath being late. I would prefer to be an hour early and sit around with nothing to do, rather than be late. I'm not sure if it's the fear of walking into a full room with everyone looking up at me, or some other phobia that makes me cringe from head-to-toe... but the fact of the matter was, I seriously considered turning right around and going home that morning. Thankfully, I made a firm promise to Nichole which overrode my strong natural compulsion to bolt. I walked in the door, and a man named Jim greeted me extremely cheerfully and asked me if he could help me find my class. In retrospect, I wonder if he was expecting me, because it seemed as if he plugged me into the "Young Adult- College Age" Sunday School Class with the greatest of ease.
I walked into the room, and sat down in one of the chairs arranged in a circle. They hadn't gotten started yet, everyone was still chatting amiably about their Saturday evening activities. A man named Barry got the class rolling soon after, introducing himself to me and thanking me for visiting. He then asked everyone in the room to introduce themselves as well. There were about a dozen other students in the class. I told them that I was a friend of Nichole's, who was a senior in the High School youth group. My recollection of the discussion topic is pretty vague, but I remember one of the girls sitting next to me helped me find the various passages in my Bible. (I also remember that I was the only one in the room taking notes! Nobody teased me at the time, waiting until after they got to know me better...)
The rest of the morning flew by. I was introduced to several people, then Nichole and I sat down in the auditorium together. Has anybody else ever felt like the pastor was preaching a message aimed directly at them? This was the case for me that morning, and it caught me off guard. The sermon passage was from the letter written by the Apostle Paul to the Romans, and I later understood that Dr. Bob Grayson was nearing the end of a lengthy series on that book of the Bible. I remember thinking that the language and style of the writing were impressive, and the pastor did a great job of explaining the meaning and application of the text to me. The topic of the sermon was, most undoubtedly, on sacrifice and humility. I say this, not out of complete recollection of the sermon itself, but out of a remembrance of the verse that has embedded itself in me ever since.
"Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment, in accordance with the faith God has distributed to each of you." Romans 12:3 (TNIV)
The passage of scripture from Romans 12, along with the clear teaching style of Pastor Grayson, somehow eroded the barrier within me relating to my negative perception towards 'self-righteous' Christians. I was able to comprehend and accept that morning that each one of us in the building was in the same boat when it came to our need for God. You come to God with nothing but the value that He places upon you. There's no cause to boast or justification for self-pride, it's all about Him. I began to see that other Christians were no better (or worse) than me in this regard- we all required Jesus' salvation, we all needed his grace.
After the service, Nichole introduced me to the Dr. Bob Grayson, and I thanked him for teaching me. Everyone I had met that morning was super-nice to me, and I felt very welcome in that place. Both Barry and Bob let me know that if I ever wanted to discuss anything about the Church or the Bible, they were willing to do so. I was so happy to discover that I had found a group of men and women who, while not perfect, were genuinely caring and loving towards others- even towards a strung out 18 year-old with more life problems than solutions.
The following evening is one that I will never forget, Monday November 6, 1989. Because I worked nights at the Super Saver, I typically went to sleep when I got home from work so that I could be awake in the evenings when 'normal' people were free to interact. However, because I had adjusted my schedule the day before to attend church with Nichole, I was likely pretty tired on Monday after working the previous night. So, I was surprised to be awakened by the doorbell at 7pm that evening.
At my door were 2 men whom I had met briefly the day before at Southview Baptist Church- John and Dave. When they realized they had woke me up, they apologized and said they came by to thank me for visiting yesterday. I invited them into my apartment, and we began discussing how they ended up attending Southview. I told them a bit about my life to that point, how I was searching for purpose and direction in my life. Dave then posed a question that I had considered before, but not quite in such a direct manner- "If you were to die tonight (heaven forbid), and God asked you, 'Why should I let you into Heaven', what would you say?" I admitted that this was the cause of my frustration, "Why would God want anything to do with me?".
John and Dave then offered to tell me how they had wrestled with that same question in their lives, and I definitely was interested to hear their experience. They had a little pamphlet with "The Roman Road to Salvation" printed on the front. Inside were a few verses from that same letter to the Romans which Dr. Grayson had preached from the day prior. We read the scripture together and they explained how these verses had helped them understand the human condition in relationship from the perspective of a holy and just God.
"For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God." Romans 3:23
'Falling short' means missing the target, not living up to the standard of perfection required by a Holy God.
"the wages of sin is death..." Romans 6:23a
Wages are what we earn. We deserve punishment- which is total separation from God.
"...but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord." Romans 6:23b
Eternal life is a free gift, not earned, nor deserved.
"But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us." Romans 5:8
God loves us so much that he offered his son's life as the payment for our sins.
"If you declare with your mouth, 'Jesus is Lord,' and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved... for, 'Everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved.'" Romans 10:9,13
Acknowledging our sinful condition, accepting the free gift of God, and truly putting our trust in Jesus are required for being spared from the eternal condemnation we deserve.
These verses along with the sincere, loving concern of the Christians from Southview Baptist Church touched my heart that evening. I recognized that I was separated from God because of my own willful rebellion. I understood that God wanted to have a relationship with me- that Jesus died to pay the penalty that I deserved so that he could restore our broken relationship. I accepted that free gift joyfully, understanding that I could not earn it and didn't deserve on my own merit. I could now answer Dave's question, "Why should God let me into Heaven?", because I accepted Jesus' payment for my debt gratefully. I was now "Justified by Faith".
I made a commitment to build a lifelong relationship with God, not just a one-time plea to be spared from judgment. I prayed that night with John and Dave, declaring with my mouth that Jesus is Lord, fully believing in my heart that Jesus was alive and well. That evening, for me, was very much like being reborn into the world. I felt completely new and whole. John and Dave shared with me some other verses in the Bible at that time to confirm these very concepts, and to assure me that I never had to doubt whether I was free from the penalty of sin. They also did a very good job of letting me know that this was just the beginning of my relationship with God, that He wanted to spend a lifetime teaching me and helping me to grow in my faith with the assistance of the Holy Spirit.
I spent the next year joining John, Dave and a few other men in a weekly Bible study. These men became my brothers, taking me under their wing to guide me in my new faith. Of course, I also grew closer to Nichole, the cute red-headed girl that I had intellectually sparred with in High School. She was finishing up her senior year at Lincoln High, and had many opportunities for her future. The story of how she eventually agreed to spend her life with me will have to be undertaken at another time. For now, suffice it to say that my decision to follow Jesus hasn't ended. It is an ongoing process; a daily commitment to choose him, seek his guidance, spend time with him, and enjoy his company and the fellowship of other believers. Jesus promised that he will never leave me nor forsake me. He makes the same promise to you!
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